firthy

dreams have been full of colin firth kissing me.  last night i also visited cambodia mudslides with fiona and dylan and daniel, green green heavy green humidity and plenty of family.  before that someone may have grabbed my arm.
bed is more refined now, closer to the dream.  buttery white soft cleanliness and cotton, an obsession.  i like waking up these days, i like drifting towards sleep too, though not swathed in nearly enough hours or firth.  he certainly was a dreamboat, coming down after spotting me from the high window, to keep me company in the heated water.  wherever we were must have been california.
i looked up colin firth oh wow on youtube and it yielded quite a lot of fan vids, but they made me feel lonely, like bridget jones, only she got some firth.

used to play this 45 on the jukebox at pizza hut

that wonderful that curious

the gift that keeps on giving.  what is that, but a blown-out voice, nightflowers taken by a flash, captured all in harshness and glory.  the smile on your face does something to me, it really moves me, the smile on your face, the smile on your face really turns me on.  sometimes i hear your new voice in my head, and it makes me taste good things, like minerals of the sea, sinew, sweet meat.  and when you look at me darling can't you see, when you smile, yes when you smile.  i can't make it out, what she's singing, or when we get to see what next comes, but i love the glamour of unknowing, i think of the desert.  got me going like a new favorite.  and of the old pain, whether to greet it with graciousness, tallness, a smile, or rip scissor and tear.  luckily i didn't have to choose, just see the choice there. 

b e s i t o v e r s u s b e s o t e

waiting here, as if on a shelf but with knees crossed.  the things we thought that mattered don't much matter.  hips are are high, heels are low, hands press. and flying in the face of love, are successes.  holding us like binding, like seams. woven in the fresh, braided and plated in love, sottered and besotted, our successes.  i became learned in the spaces between
i got a taste for fruit which i can't shake the sand keeps coming out of the crevices everything i carry feels heavy when compared with the lightness of last week vision is blurred for now and my words switch hey where am i when i was recently somewhere so sweet

puro vida

saw whales        whale arm     whale air       tail        body

ate cake          pink icing     heavy at the bottom       liquor / liquid

saw graves          painted graves     plasticine flowers    iridescent     cement crosses     happy foliage from   years of fertilization      pert      floppy     helicopter leaves   magenta leaves    yellow        undying leaves          leaves / left

tasted salt     playa de los muertos   yes    she was there      cove     either side shielded   safe to rise     safe to float  buoyed by    dogs

saw sunset      pink milk        spilled alllllll over the sky    sun tomorrow    

ate sandia            sweet and sandy and happy and sweet         watery and becoming unthirsty

tasted what sadness     fell in pails       pressure of density     from salt

LILLILACAC

AND ! THEN THE LILACS SHALL ARRIVE, COME WARMER WEATHER.  THE LILACS, KEPT IN BUCKETS, AND CARRIED OFF BY THE ARMFUL, DAMPENING THE SLEEVES, HEAVING WITH PROMISE OF SPRING

THEY SELL OUT FAST GOOD THINGS NEVER LAST



AND THE SMELL, TENTH GRADE BATH AND BODY WORKS

WHEN WE WANTED MAKE OUT PARTIES AND DREW THE LINES ACROSS THE HALL MOUTH TO MOUTH HIM WITH YOU AND HIM WITH YOU AND HIM WITH YOU

AND THEN SAYING THIS COLOR IS YOUR FLOWER, MY FLOWER IS THIS COLOR, YOURS ARE PURPLE

LILACS




 TAKE TIME