The way I feel now is steady, sallow, stuck behind the eyes exactly. There is numbness by my ears, around my nose--these places we don't feel things exactly. There is water boiling on the stove.
I haven't been here in years. But it feels like just the place to come now. I like Susannah writing emails to Clare now. It makes so much sense.
I feel like a jetty, stuck in water with it crashing all around, rocks underneath, and weather weather weather. I feel the freedom of not having to make sense.
Just to play, to have energy enough to play with shapes, fabrics, sew things together. What difference does it make? But words, words are nice enough to play. And without music, there is only words. Music is in the van.
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I think we skipped 2010. We did. It was so full of everything and somehow we totally, or almost, missed it. I am so grateful I stopped by in June, to this town, and we all ate at that great table together, by the bathrooms but it didn't matter, I felt safe as I could in the world, three generations of Yuck. I am grateful you left the table to put on yr contacts because it was gonna be a night out. I really liked that. When it's late into the night and driving I like to wear my glasses and it is the opposite. That feels good too.
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